Thoughts & Emotion

I remembered asking 1 of my very close friend once why didn't she have other child (she has 1)? She and her hubby are definately financially sound to have another child...and furthermore, it's companionship for the elder one too...she gave me a mortified look and said, "No way! i'm not going to go through all that again"....at that point, i do not understand why her absolute and fierce answer...i understand that it's not easy to bring up a child but aren't children our pride and joy???


Now i know...after having Debbie, there is no more "MY TIME"...everything revolves around the children...no more dates with hubby...how to when we only have yayuk at home? she can't possibly cope with 3 kids with 2under2...i can only have time off when hub is not flying...other than that, i'm with the kids...making sure that they are eating/drinking well, homework all done etc etc etc...yes, i have yayuk to help but alot of things i still have to oversee...Exhaustion soon hit me...


As parent, you want the best for your child...i mean "THE BEST"...so alot of things, i tend to take it upon myself...1 good example is making their meals...hubby always said that he don't understand y i didn't want to leave it to the maid to cook the meals and have to do it myself? All i know is that i want my kids to eat what mummy made...

I was talking to Damien's childcare teacher the other day (yes, he is going to Star Learners on Sept 2nd) and she was telling me certain things have to learn to let go...hmmmm...i was thinking maybe on Damien's first day, i will be the one crying and clinging on to him instead...he probably will bo chiap me and join his friends...this can happen u know...i brought Damien along when i went and enrolled him and i can see he is very comfortable with that place...he not scared of ppl want...it was me who is very yim chim...how to let go? how to????

With my daily routine, i'm ending up with dark eyebags and circles, stiff muscles, looking haggard and gila gila temper...the only good thing is that i managed to lose 3kgs from it...hub who took over from the night feeding whenever he is in s'pore agreed with me finally that we should stop at two liao...when i see his shack face after 1 night shift, i also want to laugh...and somemore he pu juak coz not enough sleep...end up, i have to take care of him...really u know...me and hub are really slaves to our 3 kids...yeah we are totally tired but its very rewarding...yeah!!!!! to all the mummies who are also in our shoes, JIA YOU!!!!!